Judging Other Moms

I remember the day hubby and I got married.  While we had our pictures taken, some of our family members were waiting in the sanctuary of the church.   As we stood smiling for the camera and eagerly anticipating our new life together, our nephews were running through the church.  Yep, running.  Like crazy monkeys!  They were 2 and 3.  I remember looking up into my new hubby's loving eyes and saying...

 "Our kids will NEVER act like that!"

Fast forward a few years and we were in the trenches of parenthood.  And you guessed it...our kids were now the crazy monkeys!  You know, the ones running up and down the isle at the grocery store. 

I shamefully admit that over the years I've been judging other moms.  When you don't know what is going on in their lives, it is so easy to pass judgement on them.   I would look at that mom at the checkout in the grocery store.  I would see her child throwing a fit and I would think..."that mom clearly needs to discipline her child".    Or I would see the child who gets everything she wants, the best clothes, toys, and gadgets and I would think she's just spoiled.

I've found a new way of looking at other moms.  Our autistic son gave me a new lens to see through.  You see, when I look at those moms~whether in the grocery store, the park, or even church~I really don't know what is going on in their lives.  What I see as a child throwing a tantrum because he can't have a piece of candy may really be a child with sensory issues who can't control his emotions with all the sights, sounds and smells going on around him.   And an exhausted mom who knew this outing would cause distress, but had no choice but to take him along.

We don't know that daddy just left that family to fight for our freedom.  We don't know that mom is struggling with self confidence and has no support system.  We don't know that grandma has moved in because it is no longer safe for her to be alone.  We don't know that a family is on the brink of financial ruin.   In my case, no one knew that my son was struggling with extreme behavior issues because of his autism and that it was creating chaos in our entire family.  I felt confused, hurt, angry, and alone.  Many times it was because someone has passed judgment on my parenting and I felt I had no where to turn.

We moms go through so many emotions each day, and we don't need to be passing misplaced judgment on each other.  When I see a mom in a situation where I would have passed judgment, I now start praying for that mom.  Yes, in the grocery store, park, church, or wherever.  God knows their situation and can get them through it. 

Judging other moms won't do that!

Blessings,


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